Grand Order of the Eastern Wonderland
by The Indominator
Summary: The destruction of humanity did wonders(not) for the residents of the land of Illusion. But as luck has it, the summoning call of a certain master helped them out of their predicament. With only one downside: Chaldea Security Organization will be a very busy place in the future.
1. Prologue: Rough landing

Prologue: Rough landing

* * *

 **At a certain land of Illusion.**

The Hakurei shrine was a place of significant importance, that was absolutely without a doubt.

Not only has this humble adobe been where the many generations of shrine maidens belonging the Hakurei bloodline -Gensokyo's local law enforcers- called their home, it was also the anchor of the Great Hakurei Barrier that was fundamental to the very existence of this small mythological wonderland itself.

That, combining with the fact that the current shrine maiden -One Hakurei Reimu- has a rather unorthodox relationship with the local youkai population. You can bet this little patch of land atop the mountain is visited rather regularly, either by those with official business with the shrine maiden herself, or by those simply wanting to pass by and say 'Hi'. They rarely -If ever- donate though, much to her dismay.

But still, if anyone were to look at the crowd gathered at the shrine right now. They would see that it was rather... extreme, even for this place's regular standards.

Over one hundred individuals, most of them being a youkai under one form or another, were gathered in the yard around the shrine, with a significant number of them inside the shrine itself. They were trying their best imitation of canned sardine by squeezing themselves as close to each other and being space efficient as possible.

Their reason for doing this, you ask?

Well, it has a lot to do with the fact that if one of them even set one foot out of the safety of the barrier surrounding the shrine's front yard, they would simply cease to exist. Just 'pop', and they're gone. That's what's happened to most of the unlucky residents, the ones that didn't made it fast enough.

This barrier right now, this is what was left of the Great Hakurei Barrier, and it is currently the only thing standing between those within and certain death.

For some mysterious reason, humanity -all of them- existing outside of the barrier has simply disappeared with absolutely no trace left, leaving only a world on fire and an un-powered Great Barrier.

For you see, this barrier -miraculous as it is- could only exist with something powering it. And what is more powerful than the very faith of humanity that gave birth to the youkai race in the first place? So its purpose is simple, collect as well as recycle the faith of those outside and inside the barrier, to create an isolated environment that was almost identical to the world in the age of the gods.

So, when that very faith is simply no more, the results were expected.

And even now, with every single one here actively giving their power to fuel what little bit that was left, it was still not enough to stop the rapid deterioration.

"Dammit!" someone shouted from the crowd, desperation and frustration evident in their voice.

Another shudder of the barrier, another centimeter lost to unrelenting fire. The crowd squeezed even closer.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" the voice repeated itself, each time with more intensity added to the emotions behind it.

Closer inspection revealed it to belong to a rather petite girl in her teenage years, with her long black hair tied together by a rather large ribbon, wearing a modified version of the traditional shrine maiden attire with the primary color of red and white. The look on her face was the one that showed the clear stress she is currently going through.

"Dammit..." she finally mumbled.

This is Hakurei Reimu, the current generation of Hakurei, and is considered one of the strongest until now. But even with all of her power, she couldn't even completely support the barrier that was the only thing keeping them alive.

But that doesn't mean she wouldn't try her very damn best though.

"Reimu." a new voice spoke up, this time right beside Reimu and temporarily bringing her attention to the owner of said voice.

"What is it Marisa? can't you tell I'm very busy right now." Reimu answered through gritted teeth. The grip on her gohei tightening to the point of turning her knuckles white.

"We're all are, you idiot!" the person identified as Marisa shouted equally irritably.

Marisa Kirisame, the usually cheerful and energetic witch was, in simple terms, Drained with the capital D. It was shown clearly by the sweat drenching her face, as well as the disheveled state of both her maid/witch-ish choice of dress and her golden blonde hair. Like everyone else, the self-proclaimed regular magician of Gensokyo was using everything she got to at least try and stabilize this damned barrier, kinda hard when the thing is not cooperating.

"Anyways, all I wanted to say is: In the likely case that we don't make it through this, I want you to know that it was a good ride. Our time together was really fun while it lasted." she answered after taking a deep breath, sounding resigned.

"What nonsense are you saying, Marisa?!" Reimu exclaimed, very much alarmed towards the magician's attitude.

"Look around, even if we somehow survived this, what then?" the blonde asked rhetorically as she gestured to everything around them. "Where would we go after that?" she continued.

"Then we'll just have to get Yukari to come up with something." the shrine maiden answered. This is bad, if Marisa of all the ones was the person being negative then that means things are really desperate.

"As if." the witch answered, accompanied by a mirthless chuckle, effectively freaking Reimu out all the more. "Hey! Patchouli!" she suddenly called out.

"What?!" came the purple magician's unusually loud reply somewhere from within the Scarlet Devil group.

"You remember all those books that I've borrowed from you? The ones that I said I would return in my death? It looks like I'm not going to keep that promise after all, I'm sorry Patch." Marisa continued on her negative tirade, with no sign of stopping.

Damn it all to Hell.

Reimu really wish her hands weren't occupied right now just so she could smack her oldest friend across the head to snap her out of her funk.

Sadly, she couldn't. So this went on for a while, Marisa apologizing and saying her depressing farewells to each and every person/youkai they know, which comprised the majority of the gathered personnel.

"Yuuka, I never had the chance to say thank you for letting me to use your Master Spark, so thanks. And sorry for your loss."

"All the fairies currently alive, I'm sorry for being mean to you guys."

...

It eventually cycled to the gardener of Hakugyokurou.

"And you, Youmu-" the witch started, only to stop and look at said gardener incredulously. "Youmu, what are you doing? Better yet, why is there a portal that is trying to suck Yuyuko into it?" Marisa asked, depression forgotten in the face of this new bizarre development.

"How am I supposed to know!" was the half-phantom frantic reply. "It would be nice if you could help though!" she shouted.

Indeed, the lithe white haired girl -Youmu Konpaku- was currently very busy with the activity of trying to keep her mistress from being devoured by a mysterious portal -that somehow was unnoticed by everyone present until now.

"Waa!" was Yuyuko's incomprehensible cry as she desperately held onto Youmu like her unlife depended on it.

Great, this is exactly what Reimu needs right now, random portals appearing and abducting people.

Wait...

It's a portal! And usually, if there's a portal, then that means there's a destination. Sure, it may be unknown, but anywhere was better than here right now. She meant it as sarcastic before, but this might actually just be what they all need right now.

"Wait! hold it right there, Youmu. You too, Marisa." the Hakurei shrine maiden spoke up. "Oi! Gap Hag!" she called out, for the only person she knows that can pull this stunt out.

"What?!" Yukari Yakumo shouted from somewhere. Boy, Reimu knows that the situation looks really bad, but is it that necessary for everyone to shout like that?!

"I've got an idea, and it could either save us or kill us all right now!" was her simple answer. But she really hopes it was former though.

Reimu signed the sign of the damned; this was not her job to be the one that comes up with reckless ideas, that was supposed to be Marisa's thing.

* * *

 **Chaldea Security Organization, Summoning room.**

Nothing.

Nothing happened.

After a whole five minutes of waiting with their breath held, and their guard as well as expectation held high. Every single person in the vicinity was rewarded with the sight of a completely empty summoning platform. No usual explosion of prana, no Heroic Spirit summoned, no nothing.

To one Ritsuka Fujimaru, this was a sign of something very wrong going on.

Sure, the FATE system -just like the real thing actually- could be a real B***h to everyone.

To the operating crew, it was by having to go through the tedious amount of work with limited resources -humanity being destroyed and all- just so it could be at an acceptable condition.

To herself and everyone else, it was by not doing its job: Summoning the Heroes of past, present and sometimes future to help them regain the future of humanity. And instead gave them some really random junk, the entire storage section dedicated for the countless number of Black Keys can attest to that.

One of the currently active Servants -one red clad Counter Guardian- had commented on that fact, something about an annoying priest making them suffer from beyond his grave if she heard him right.

Anyways, she was getting side tracked, the main idea is that they have never summoned nothing before. The energy did get consumed, so that means it definitely worked, or supposed to work anyhow. And the gathered Servants and facility personnel is starting to get real confused now. She could even see her kouhai -Mashu Kyrielight- sending her worried glances from her position.

Ritsuka was about to turn to the overseer of the operation - The Heroic Spirit Leonardo da Vinci- to voice out her confusion out loud about this situation-

"Summoning successful."

-only to be cut of by the blinding column of azure light and the accompanying deaf-inducing explosion that was supposed to happen five minutes ago. Took it long enough.

Lowering the hand that she thankfully raised in time to shield her eyes from the light, Ritsuka was greeted with the usual sight of the residual prana lingering around under the form of a blue mist.

Well, that was rather unexpected but welcomed nonetheless, they definitely need to re-check the FATE system for errors after this though.

But that is not important right now. What is however is whether if they got lucky and summoned an actual Servant. And if that's the case, then whether the Servant is hostile or not, that one incident with Heracles was enough to last her a lifetime of frightening experiences thank you very much.

The mist cleared, and everyone got the first look at what manner of being they have summoned.

Standing there on top of the designated summoning platform was a woman of average height. Her choice of attire consisted of a single light blue outfit that looked like it was a cross of a Japanese yukata and a Western night gown, that somehow capture the benefit of both kind of clothing and came out as surprisingly elegant. The outfit also has some patterns under the form of white sakura blossoms.

Her head-wear though, was rather curious: It resembled a Victorian mob cap of the same light blue color as her outfit, with the addition of a white veil at the back of her head and a Hitaikakushi at the front. The cap sits elegantly atop her shoulder-length pink hair, the same color as one foxy caster.

But the feature that draws the most attention about this woman -aside from her unnaturally pale skin that gave her an almost ethereal beauty- was the couple of white spectral entities that is currently circling her.

Well, she was definitely a unique Servant if nothing else.

The Servant looked around, seemingly more curious about the surrounding more than anything else as she observed the room she was summoned in, giving 'oohs' and 'aahs' as her eyes took in what she sees. Until she noticed Ritsuka that is.

Stopping her action. The woman opened her mouth, seemingly about to comment something about her newly discovered Master.

That something would have to wait, as a tear in reality soundlessly and suddenly appeared above the woman. It's very nature was something indiscernible to Ritsuka, so all she could tell about it was that the thing look like some kind of gap in reality, in which numerous unblinking eyes could be seen staring back at her and giving her the creeps.

All Servants currently present behind her suddenly tensed up, their weapons of Legends ready to be drawn within a hair's breath. With some of the more paranoid of the bunch already accounting for the worst case scenario of a hostile case and was preparing their mental for when the dung hits the fan.

What came next though, could be stated with confidence to be completely unexpected to all of them.

Without any warning whatsoever, the gap suddenly widened. And from it, girls started raining.

Well, raining is a bit of an exaggeration. The more suitable term would be: dumped-into-a-pile-on-the-floor. And in about ten second, the summoning platform was now covered by a mass of bodies comprised of many different women of different age and different outfit. Right on top of the hapless newly summoned Servant.

Despite the situation, Ritsuka still winced at that, she hoped the ones below are ok, especially her new Servant.

As for everyone else, the scene was so unbelievably bizarre that of all the people present, none could say a thing.

A deafening silence descended on the room, interrupted by the occasional moans of pains and grunting of the newly arrivals.

And then, like some kind of cherry on top of the cake, the gap spit out its last passenger -a woman with blonde hair in a purple dress- daintily on her feet atop the pile of body before closing and disappearing completely.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?" the aforementioned woman spoke up casually.

And was answered with the collective unintelligible groan of the people below.

"Well then, anywho." she continued, unaffected by the less than stellar response. "I'm going to give myself a nap now if you all don't mind: A nice, relaxing, and long nap" the blonde continued.

And promptly collapsed.

...

"Okay, can someone tell me: What the hell just happened?" one spearman in blue spoke up, gaining the honor of the first to break the awkward silence.

And as for Ritsuka, she just rubbed her hands on her eyes repeatedly, trying to make sure of what she just witnessed.

She looked again. Yup, still there.

"I'm not sure if I really want to know the answer, Cu, I'm really not."

* * *

 **A/N**

I have no regrets, this is the only path.

No, but seriously. This story have been stuck in my head for so long now it isn't even funny, and I just had to get it out. Plus, listening to Touhou Doujin music is my favorite pastime, so it's only fair that I contribute for this community somehow.

And for those following my other story 'Respect your elders', don't worry, the new chapter is just taking sometime to make. So it will come eventually.

This was heavily inspired by Disciple of Ember's 'Eastern Rebel Wonderland', check him out sometimes, seriously, his works is very underrated.

As for the story itself, this is made for the purpose of humor, so the plot would be more than a series of oneshots than anything else. So it will be updated at a moderate pace. Hell, give me some suggestion for the possible combinations if you want. All the Touhou characters are present.

I do not own Touhou or the Fate/series, those belonged to Zun and Type-Moon respectively. And I also doesn't gain profit from this because it is completely for fun. The cover image is randomly chosen from the internet.

As stated above, this story's main purpose is humor, so some divergent is expected from strict canon, but still, notify me if I overstepped something.

Reviews is the sustenance for my souls, so please give me lots of it, Favorites and Follows too. Flames burns as much as their name suggest, but Constructive criticisms just shows that you guys care.

Yours sincerely

The Indominator


	2. Radiant sunlight

Radiant sunlight

* * *

 **?**

Here, in this great deciduous forest with towering trees and overgrowing vegetation, a pack of great predators stalked.

Though… If anyone was to take a look at these beasts, they could clearly see that with their appearance alone that these creatures are very much not the mundane animals that you would usually encounter.

Specifically, one of them looks like what would happen if some kind of mad scientist was to take many random parts of various animals of different species, spliced them together in a blender, and came out with a creature whose very existence was like a crime against nature itself.

Its main body, head and front limbs resembled that of a lion -complete with a wild mane and all. But now with the back legs of a ram along with the entire head of one jutting out of its shoulder. Plus the reptilian head and body of a snake acting as the creatures' tail. To top it all off, it looked like the things just consumed its daily extra dose of breakfast steroids.

This f*cker is a Chimera, and along with him are his buddies being other various unimportant monsters around here. They are just wandering around in this minor singularity, minding their own business: Causing trouble in the continuum of human history, refusing to be exterminated, being agonies in the backside to farm, ect.

However, whatever they are doing, it was interrupted by the sound a blaring klaxon echoing throughout the woods.

Alarmed by the foreign noise, the creatures jolted to a state alarm with their (un)naturally sharp appendages bared and silted eyes open wide, ready to face whatever potential threat that was foolish enough to alert them of its presence.

Sadly, it was all for naught.

A tiny sphere of massive fiery destruction incinerated its way through the treeline. Hulking tree trunks standing like wooden toothpicks against a flamethrower, rocks melted into slang upon contact, and the very ground itself scorched into ash with the sheer heat radiation. There was no opposition.

Glowing white hot with the light of an newborn star, the sphere of molten plasma continued on its unstoppable way, swallowing up beasts in its fiery embrace in the process, the fire resisting properties of their flesh doing little of help.

Fortunately, the majority of them were fast enough to successfully jump out of the way of their certain death by the maximum use of their natural agility and instincts. So out of the original number, at least seventy percent of them were still alive as the miniature sun grazed past and continued onto the distance, that also includes the Chimera acting as the leader.

But it did not end there.

Just as it made its way out of sight and seemingly out of mind, the miniature sun -having left its controlled environment for so long- started becoming unstable, volatile, deadly. And before anyone knew it.

The world lit up in blinding white light.

Following it shortly was an earth-shaking shockwave not unlike the which that was the result of an hydrogen bomb going off, it was even topped by the trademark rising mushroom cloud of epic proportion, the only missing thing now was the massive radioactive fallout -Even though this place wouldn't be expecting life in at least a few years anyways without it.

Or is it.

Approximately five kilometers away from the epicenter of the blast, a figure still stood, even though everything else around her was flattened to the ground.

She was a young girl, with dark brown hair held together by a large green ribbon, possessing an almost enviously striking figure covered by a set of outfit consisting of a short-sleeved white shirt combined with a short green skirt.

On her right arm, she wears a device that looks like an orange arm cannon thingy. Her right foot is encased in a substance that oddly resembled concrete. Both of her other two left limbs are free, however.

But most noticeably, she was also wearing a white cape that's white on the outside and a starry pattern on the inside, currently held aloft by her wide-spreading midnight black feathery wings.

That, and also the giant red eye on the center of her chest.

Behind her was where the blast did not touch, the contrast being made all the clearer by the scorched earth all around and the pristine land within.

All in all, her current status as the only thing standing after detonation as well as posture cut for a quite imposing image.

"Master-san, Mashu-san, the enemies' incinerated now. So did I do good? I did good right? Right?" that image was rather brutally shattered as she abruptly turned around and cheerfully called out like a little child that is demanding some praise.

Behind the safe cover of the enthusiastic girl and a giant shield (courtesy of a nearby Shielder -just in case) that she has taken for cover, the figure of Ritsuka Fujimaru stepped out on shaky legs, she was rather dusty but otherwise unscathed.

"Yes, you accomplished the objective perfectly, Okuu." the redhead answered after she had collected herself. No matter how many times you experience a direct blast from what is essentially a nuke, you never quite get over it. "Right, Mash?" she spoke up for some confirmation from her kouhai.

"Senpai is correct, Okuu, you've done excellently." the lavender-hair girl spoke politely in her trademark tone of voice, addressing the winged girl by her desired nickname.

"Muu." but apparently, that was not quite what the hell raven wanted to hear, because she is now making a very dissatisfied face that was almost but not quite a pout, like she was expecting something more.

"Ehhh." the Shielder and Master pair made their combined sound of confusion in accordance with the girl's sudden mood swing.

"Hey, what are you waiting for: Go pat her head." whispered a feminine voice from behind the two of them, jolting Ritsuka from her confusion.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" the Master whispered back at the voice.

"What else, you have to pat her head, there's no other way around, Okuu's very stubborn when it turns to things like these -She only does this if she's actually fond of you." was the casual answer, accompanied by a helpless shrug from the speaker.

Closer inspection revealed that person to be also a girl, with cat ears, dark red eyes and also fiery red hair styled into twin braids and adorned by black ribbons at the top and bottom of the braids. She is wearing a rather simple black decorated dress with green frills.

Also, she was pushing her totally aptly named cat cart, stacked with the extra crispy bodies of the monsters.

"Well, whatever you said then." Ritsuka answered back with a shrug of her own, and tenderly reached out her hand to give the Hell Raven some well-deserved pats on the head.

"Unyu~"

The youkai of mass destruction practically melted into a puddle as the redheaded master of Chaldea tenderly and gently caressed her hair. Showing absolutely no indication of being one and the same as the being that had completely evaporated this entire place.

Meh, she's seen stranger.

* * *

 **Chaldea Security Organization, a while later.**

Making their way through the corridors of Chaldea was the trio consisting of one Ritsuka Fujimaru, one Mashu Kyrielight, and one Utsuho Reiuji otherwise known as Okuu, with the fourth of the group sent to deal with the minor singularity -Rin Kaenbyou, or Orin- being away to deposit the materials that they have gathered.

As the recently norm around here, they have just returned from another successful run of what was dubbed the 'Nuke and loot' operation. Where they would make use of Okuu's incredible destructive power to demolish all lesser enemies, and then pick up their bits and pieces with the help of Okuu oldest friend -Orin- and her expertise in carting corpses.

It was the perfect plan.

Too bad that anything that involves the nuclear bird always have to be supervised with extreme scrutiny, not to mention the fusion materials that she required, so they couldn't really do that as often as they would like.

The group continued on their walk with the sound of the youkai girl chatting with Mashu, as well as their collective footsteps gaining an unusual echoing quality, thanks to the new impossible dimensions of the facility.

A work that was otherwise impossible now accomplished, thanks to a person with the name of Sakuya Izayoi (if she remembered correctly) and her power to manipulate Time and therefore Space to a certain extent. That power was put into use to widen the facility to a whole new level, just so they don't have to worry about the problem of running out of room.

In all seriousness, she doesn't know what to think about that particular fact: The power that is basically a True Magic casually used by a maid to perfect her duties. She has a mixed feeling of both amusement and astonishment from that fact, mostly amusement.

And that's not the end of the weirdness. Nor the chaos accompanying that weirdness, especially the one caused by the bunch's arrival a while prior.

She shuddered, chaos was putting it lightly. At first, she thought that they would be having a full blown brawl out right there and then against the citizens of the secluded land of Gensokyo or something, a course of action that could be catastrophic considering the strength and numbers of both sides.

But it eventually settled down, thankfully, with the help of some of the more level-headed individuals and their words about the fact that it wouldn't be the wisest choice of action considering the state of the world right now.

The bunch became surprisingly cooperative after that actually, which is a very surprising development considering their nature, but she guessed that's what the threat of total and absolute destruction does to you: Become compelled to not make a tussle with the only other party who just might know how to fix this.

That, and whatever that they did when they decided to tag along with the summoning of the pink-haired Servant -Who Ritsuka latter learned her name to be Yuyuko Saigyouji.

Somehow, someway, all of them who has been brought here by the gap had also used the same (or similar enough) route for the FATE system to recognize them as some kind of Servant and proceeded to go through the same procedures as such: Establishing Prana connection, providing general knowledge, command-sealing them (albeit it was not as effective as with an actual Servant), stuffs like that.

Well, maybe one person might know the answer to that question, but she's currently in hibernation due to the recent overexerting of her powers -according to Yuyuko.

Plus, Ritsuka doesn't feel like it was necessary to question either. If it works out, it works out, and she was thankful for that.

She was not ready to deal with hungry carnivorous Youkais wandering the facilities of Chaldea, not one bit.

"Hoh... So you are the one behind the familiar presence that I've been sensing recently." a deep and condescending voice mused out, snapping the last Master of humanity out of her musings of recent events.

With a very rapidly growing suspicion about the identity of the owner of said voice, Ritsuka directed her attention to the direction she heard it just to confirm.

Tanned skin, dark hair, with the presence of someone who owned the place and he knows it, not to mention the outfit.

Yup, it's him alright.

"Unyu?" was the winged girl expressing her confusion, with most of what she just heard going right over her head.

"Ozymandias?" Mashu asked, sucessfully identifying the pharaoh.

"What are you doing here, Ozymandias?" Ritsuka inquired, even though she already had an inkling of why. The ancient God-King never sought a random chat with any irrelevant individuals, he only talks to the people that he considers to be worthy of it or happens to catch his interest, which is very few and far in between mind you.

"What other reason for an pharaoh such as I to grace his presence? As I've stated, I sensed a familiar presence within these halls: The presence of yet another incarnation of the sun." He answered, with the ever-present unswaying confidence in his voice as well as gesture. "And as such, I've decided to see for myself the identity of this new arrival." he continued on.

"Girl, hear me well! My name is Ozymandias, a king amongst kings." the pharaoh suddenly declared to the winged girl, startling her in the process. "You have interested me, even if you are less than stellar in the intelligence department, I can clearly tell that the might you possesses is alone more than fitting of your status. Now, tell me your name, girl." he carried on, with the question at the end, even though it sounded more like a demand.

"Umn... My name's Utsuho Reiuji, but everyone just calls me Okuu..." the hell raven answered, a little bit overwhelmed with the pharaoh's presence.

"Very well... As one divinity of the sun to another, I've decided that you are now under my recognition as one." Ozymandias announced authoritatively like the glorious self that he is. "And therefore, that means that you are also from now on permitted to refer to me as your brother, elder brother to be specific." he said.

Hmm, this seems very familiar to Ritsuka somehow.

"Elder... Brother...?" Okuu repeated, with a bit of question and some other unknown element in her voice.

"It is for a matter of fact that I am." he confirmed.

Then, like a switch have been flicked, a look of understanding dawned on her face as the hell raven pounded her left fist on her now currently empty right palm.

"Ok!" she confirmed cheerfully and with all of her usual childishness.

"As it is, you should feel very honored, not-"

"Onii-chan!" the incarnation of Yatagaratsu called out, accompanied by a smile so dazzling, so beautiful, so full of innocence that it appears like the morning star itself have manifested in this realm in all of its majestic glory.

For the second time that day, the world turned white.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the cafeteria.**

"Oi, Blackbeard. What the hell is that thing?"

"This?" the infamous pirate quirked an eyebrow as he gestured to the item in his hand: Something that looks like a cross between an earpiece and eyeglasses that was meant to go on the left side of the head. "It's just a prototype, but basically this is just something I've created with the help of foreign technology and magic." he shrugged.

"So, does it even work?"

"I'm going to see about that right now actually." his piece said, the scruffy bearded man proceeded to put it on his left ear and tweaked with some buttons.

"Well?"

"Hmm, so far so goo-" Blackbeard started, only to pause immediately. "What the..." he trailed out.

"What the what?"

Ignoring his companion for now, the pirate captain narrowed his eyes at the readings currently being displayed on the device, noticing something abnormal in it.

Only to widen them immediately afterwards.

"Impossible..." he muttered in disbelief and promptly stood up from his seat, slowly reaching out his hand to remove the device.

"What?"

"The moe levels..." was the Servant's muted reply to the inquiry with eyes locked to one set direction. "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" Edward Teach shouted out loud.

And proceeded to crush the Scout into pieces with his bare hand in the process.

* * *

 **Back at ground zero.**

Faced with such radiance and at such intensity no less, a lesser man would surely be demolished without any resistance and left convulsing on the ground like dying fishes.

Like a certain Master and Shielder duo.

But alas, Ozymandias was not just some lesser man. No, he was the Sun King, the absolute one above the earth and the incarnation of Ra himself.

"Kuh... " so that is why, instead of collapsing on the ground like others would do when faced with such formidable combination of divine beauty and irresistible imouto cuteness that was only surpassed by his beloved Nefertari herself, he just gritted his teeth and bore through it like an absolute boss.

"Onii-chan, are you ok?" Okuu asked suddenly, concern lacing her voice towards her newly discovered brother's discomfort.

"I am perfectly fine, little sister of mine!" he assured, his confidence back in full force.

"You have nothing to worry about. In fact, if you ever found yourself with any problem from now on, be free to ask for my assistance as a fellow incarnation of the Sun." the ancient king continued with absolute conviction, comparable to his conduction of godhood. "Did I make myself clear?" he asked, with both of his hands on her shoulders and eyes conveying his seriousness.

"Ok!" Okuu nodded happily, agreeing easily with his words.

Meanwhile, Ritsuka continued on her moe-induced stroke in the corner with the company of Mashu.

* * *

 **Utsuho Reiuji - Berserker**

 **[Basic Stats]:**  
 _Strength:_ B  
 _Endurance:_ B  
 _Agility:_ B  
 _Mana:_ EX  
 _Luck:_ C  
 _Noble Phantasm:_ N/A

 **[Class Skills]:**  
 **Magic Resistance:** B  
 **Goddess's Divine Core:** EX  
 **Mad Enhancement:** EX

 **[Personal Skills]:**  
 **Manipulation of Nuclear Fusion and Fission:** A+  
 **Knowledge of Atomic Physics:** A+  
 **Blessings of Yatagaratsu:** EX

 **[Noble Phantasms]:  
N/A**

 **[Profile]:**  
A Hell Raven born and raised in the Hell of Blazing Fires located under the land of Gensokyo, who later became one of Satori Komeiji's pets. She had at one point discovered and devoured the Divine Spirit Yatagaratsu and gained their power, which she used in her misguided attempt to set ablaze the surface world. Thankfully, that did not come to pass. Her current duty given to her by Satori is to assist Chaldea in restoring the human order.

 **[Level 1 Bond]:**  
 **Height/Weight:** 173cm ・ 65kg(excluding the three legs)  
 **Source:** Gensokyo's History  
 **Region:** Gensokyo  
 **Alignment:** Chaotic Neutral  
 **Gender:** Female

"Unyu~"

 **[Level 2 Bond]:**  
Utsuho is somewhat childlike. She's often quite cheerful, and is extremely kind-hearted to those she cares about. She has the highest devotion possible to her owner, Satori Komeiji, and her friend, Rin Kaenbyou.  
However, ever since she ate the Yatagarasu and gained her powers, she's been a little off in the head. She often loses control when fighting, not stopping until she thinks she's won, which often leads to the burning destruction of the surrounding area. In fact, her dedication to Satori and Rin is the only thing currently keeping her in check.  
Aside from this, she's never been the sharpest of tacks, leading her to occasionally overlook the obvious.

 **[Level 3 Bond]:**  
Due to her unique circumstances as an incarnation of Yatagaratsu and not a vessel, as well as her status as not an actual Heroic Spirit. Utsuho does not have any real Noble Phantasms to call her own. The closest thing she could get currently would be the three legs given to her as the one of the blessings of Yatagaratsu. Thankfully, she's got other tricks up her sleeves.

 **[Level 4 Bond]:**

 **Manipulation of Nuclear Fusion and Fission:** A+  
With the left leg "the leg of decomposition" and the right leg "the leg of fusion", therefore by that which controls this, the right arm's "third leg", she is able to manipulate the ultimate energy, nuclear fusion. Her abilities come from the god of nuclear fusion, Yatagarasu.  
The red eye on her chest is proof that Utsuho obtained the power of fusion by absorbing Yatagarasu because the god's eyes are red.  
In the outside world, the prospects of putting this to use have still not been reached, and thus can surely be said to be an illusionary power.  
However, Utsuho can't keep creating energy forever on her own because she would run out of "fusion material", she needs to get the atoms used in the fusion process from somewhere else.

 **[Level 5 Bond]:**

 **Mad Enhancement:** EX  
All of her stats are boosted, but her intellect is in turn severely limited, so the prospect of reaching mutual understanding is hard to achieve. For as the condition to properly make use of Yatagaratsu's power, any knowledge that doesn't involve Nuclear Physics will come to her with extreme difficulty, not to mention the massive decrease in attention span and being extremely gullible. Additionally, this skill also reflects the fact that she once tried to destroy the world because "a voice in her head told her to", even though it was the furthest thing from said voice's intention.

Indeed, a bird brain through and through.

 **[Extra]:**

To say that Satori is one of the people Okuu cares most about in the world would be a gross understatement. The hell raven almost literally lives for her master, treating her like a mother. The last thing she would ever want to do would be to harm Satori in any way, and she treats the small youkai's word as law.  
Though... As of late, she had also grown quite fond of Ritsuka, and have been considering them to be like a second Master to her in more ways than one. As such, Okuu would treat them in almost the same regard as Satori, she also wouldn't be afraid to show her affection to them and in turns demand that they do the same to her, so be expecting some bold advances on head patting requests, Ritsuka.  
Additional notes: NEVER, _**EVER** _under any circumstances asks Okuu to demonstrate what she can do in a indoor environment. That is unless you want to literally get blown to a whole new atomic level.

* * *

 **A/N**

Now, before anyone started asking questions, allow me to provide you with the answers.

I know that in the prologue, I've said that this chapter was supposed to be about Sasaki interactions with various bird youkais. It would have been that way too, if someone didn't consider it was a good idea to shut down the internet and corrupting my file in the process.

*sigh*

I'm sorry if I let you down.

Also, unnecessary DBZ meme is unnecessary.

Now, to face the reviews like the disappoin-

Holy guacamolly! 50 follows, 34 favorites and 14 Reviews

... Wow, I've never expected this story to get so popular... I honestly don't know what to say, except...

Thank you, thank you all so much. It means a lot to an author such as I.

Anyways.

To furukawa023, rc48177, Daureod, Rotciv557, hetjagrr, X the Reaper, agustinjesus105, the guest reviews, DMS-Evil, thanks for the support as well as the suggestion. And you Rotciv557, I can't believe you actually figured out one of my ideas.

Shining Rider 123, I don't think it's that far, Nasu also have some very scary characters of their own too, like Goetia.

VanguardFirepower and New Universe Returns, of course.

As for this chapter itself, you can clearly see that there is also some plot building added in. Like Ritsuka had explained, the cast of touhou is now basically semi-servant. Because even though interesting as it is to explore the ethical problems about the solution to deal with the carnivorous youkai as it arise, it wouldn't exactly fit in with the purpose of this fic, which is humor. There is still incidents of course, but that what's Reimu are for.

Also, it is confirmed that most Servant's NP doesn't hold as much ground as a nuke in pure destructive power, so imagine a magic nuke.

I do not own Touhou or the Fate/series, those belonged to the glorious Zun and the magnificent Nasu respectively. And I also doesn't gain profit from this because it is completely for fun. The cover image is randomly chosen from the internet.

As stated above, this story's main purpose is humor, so some divergent is expected from strict canon, but still, notify me if I overstepped something.

Reviews if you like it plz, Favorites and Follows is also a matter of fact. I have images of Flames in my nightmares, Constructive criticisms is like neutral goodness.

Yours sincerely

The Indominator

P.S: Okuu is using the junks of Chaldea to fuel her nuclear fusion. There used to be too many Black keys, now it's too little. Ritsuka is living the dream right now -Asuming she gets out of this alive.


	3. Relatives

Relatives

* * *

 **Chaldea Security Organization**

It was almost one week short of a month ever since the 'first contact' between the last survivors of humanity and the last remnants of eastern mythology. The entirety of Chaldea was for once experiencing one of its rare peaceful moments that it could jam in between the chaos and hectic of pretty much every other day.

That said, it was only as peaceful as one facility can possibly get when housing multiple beings of power while simultaneously trying to restore the order of humanity from the ruins of destruction.

Still though, the protocol of absolute no contact between a certain Amanojaku and overenthusiastic liberator has not been breached (yet), the fairies are not causing any more trouble, and the next major singularity has not yet been identified. All in all, it almost seemed normal around here.

Almost, because perfection is just an illusion.

A black blur suddenly dashed across the thankfully empty corridors with such velocity that is almost inconceivable to the naked eye. Following it shortly was another blur, equally as fast and a lot more... Pink?

"No matter how much you try, you can't deny fate itself Vlad-sama! So stop trying to resist!" the pink blur declared with a very hard to place and honestly concerning amount of... something... in a feminine voice. All the while not halting at all in her relentless pursuit.

A closer and more in-depth inspection revealed this blur to be a little girl that looks to be no older than ten years of age, wearing a pink light pink with red trimmings dress and similarly themed mobcap that in all seriousness looks more like a slightly modified nightgown than anything else. Additionally, her hair is short with the color of light blue, an unusual coloration that serves to highlight her other inhuman qualities such as her red eyes, barely visible elongated fangs, and extra appendages sprouting from her back in the form of bat-like wings.

Meet Remilia Scarlet, the mistress of the now late Scarlet Devil Mansion, and a member of the Youkai variant of Vampire.

Showing absolutely no acknowledgement to her demands of submission on his pale aristocratic face, the subject of her pursuit or otherwise known as Vlad III only response was to put in more of his effort of evasion. To the point of leaving only a black afterimage of his robe in the wake of this whole new level of high-speed chase.

But that is not say about his thoughts though, it was also currently racing but for an entirely different reason, mainly of how things went south for him real fast.

To further elaborate, it all started about a week prior to now, when the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion initially gained knowledge of his presence among the active Servants of Chaldea through a briefing of the current situation.

After that, she consequently wished to meet him. And he having an inkling of the reason for a vampire such as her to seek him out, consequently tried to actively avoid her.

Keyword here being _tried_.

As if knowing of his every move, the more he attempted to avoid meeting her the more often the two of them will find themselves running into each other. Either by some obscure reasons or with so much coincidence it couldn't be anything but staged.

He turned down every single one of these encounters of course, but instead of deterring her it appears to only make Remilia more persistent in her pursuit. Which in turn effectively fuels his frustration all the more, especially so considering the reasons of such pursuit.

The legend of Dracula.

Yes, Vlad have not been idle in face of his new all but confirmed stalker, so he asked around for this Remilia Scarlet and what kind of character she is. The results were less than pleasing, especially the part where she insist on being related to him somehow, which is preposterous.

Even when reduced to this state, anyone can tell that the black-clad Berserker unmistakably still detest that absolutely false legend left behind after his passing, even if he is less bothered by it like he would usually be in his other counterpart. This situation definitely qualifies as bothering though.

As such, wishing to deal with this problem before it could develop further, he had finally confronted her for the first and hopefully last time just to make clear of his displeasure of the situation, clear up this farce, and get her off his metaphorical tail as soon as possible.

He had expected many results, many of which were in the category of worst case scenarios, knowing the nature of the vampiric kind.

He did not in any way, shape or form, expect her to already know of the validity of the legend and proceeded to -for a lack of a better term- fangirl about how she admire him because of the deeds he done in life as a human though.

This of course left the king of Romania baffled beyond words, and allowing the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion go on about how she was originally a citizen of his nation before her turning, how she came to look up to him as her personal hero ever since she was a child to the point of considering herself to be like a spiritual successor to him, and most importantly: Her total disregard for the legend of Count Dracula.

Ironic, isn't it? While the world remember his legacy as nothing but that of a vampire, it was a vampire herself that truly remembers him for who he is.

One thing is for sure though, throughout the exchange, Vlad found it harder and harder to find it in him to dislike the girl for genuinely admiring him.

So, after that whole encounter, they've maintained a friendlier relationship with each other. During which he quickly noted that Remilia is similar to a more charismatic version of another Lancer class servant he knew, who has taken a completely different approach to the concept of nobility than the latter. Not to say anything mean about Elizabeth of course.

And for a while, all is good.

But sadly, he made fatal a mistake in his assumptions about the elder Scarlet sibling, because there is still an important factor that he forgot to take in account about her: Agelessness -The very core of a vampire's immortality.

To spare the details, Remilia was turned at the age of around ten, as such, her mentality would always be that of a girl her age but with too much life experiences and knowledge on her hands. So naturally, things could be very dangerous if you have something like, say... a childish crush for a certain someone that never really completely goes away, especially if you happens to lack a lot of experience at that field.

After all, there is a reason she considers herself to be a distant descendant of him instead of a daughter despite being at an age for that to be more convincing. And it just so happens to be distant of a generation gap enough to be considered socially acceptable to have a relationship at his time.

A fact that he only discovers after being invited to her room, alone, in a setting that was extremely suspicious in hindsight.

Nope!

Now, if there are anyone were to be anywhere as good as him at leading a war -and especially a guerrilla war at that- they would know how and when to retreat, times such as this is definitely most suitable.

A door flying off its hinges later, and we're here.

Even after being summoned under the class of Berserker infamous for including those with great madness, his sense of right and wrong have not dulled one bit, and doing _that_ to a person that looks and _is_ old enough to be your daughter is definitely one-hundred percent in the _very_ wrong category.

"Vlad-sama! Stop running already!" the voice of the Scarlet Devil once again called out, and he once again showed her no heed. Maybe when this is all settled down then he could have a nice long and serious talk with her about this subject. But as it is? The best option there is would be to escape.

Now if he remembers this corridor right, then there is one part around here that is the only chance for him to lose her. Failure is non-negotiable.

Left. Left. There!

A nondescript double door among countless others in the very long living quarters, so in other words, the perfect hiding place. At moments like these that he really appreciated the otherwise bothering fact that his Master always leaves her room unlocked when she leaves it because of the futility of the notion against a Servant's astralization ability, because he is sure as hell can't astralize in this situation.

Pumping more power that he never thought possible into his legs, the lord of impaling made a mad final dash towards the metallic door with speeds that could leave a Lancer almost impressed.

Detecting his approach, the automated door began sliding open with a mechanical hiss, but compared to a Servant's speed it was painfully slow.

Vlad didn't even wait for the thing to finish its job, using the ability given to him for being summoned under the Berserker Class he immediately shapeshifted his body into a fine mist to wedge into the gap without a single pause.

Then, he instantly reformed his body that is still under the effect of extreme momentum with his back turned only to smash the close button on the door with his not even yet completely solid hand.

The entire process took less than one second.

As the door cancelled the opening process and closed itself up obediently to the command, just in time for the figure of the Scarlet Devil made her way around the sharp turn in the corridor.

And was faced with a long, long hall of exactly identical doors.

The pouty face she made was legendary.

Back to her subject of pursuit, after managing to completely terminate his velocity by grinding his heels and nails a considerable distant across the floor to the point of leaving burn marks. He stood and waited with bated breath for the confirmation of the success of his escape plan.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five...

Ten seconds passed, and no chibi vampire busting through the door and jumping him, that's good. Vlad allowed himself to finally breathe again because even if it is unnecessary for Servants to do so, it was still uncomfortable to hold his breath.

But still, he needs to stay vigilant and prepared to astralize as soon as it showed sign that she was checking the individual rooms, because a five-century old crush definitely won't be denied that easily.

"Hey hey, what are you waiting here for, ojisan?"

"Less of waiting and more of evading someone actually, it would be better if she didn't show up at all." he answered in a straight tone, it would be so much better if Remilia just ignored this room altogether after all. Of course it saves him a lot of trouble if it is, he can't believe that someone even asked about... it...

"Oh." the voice of the other occupant(s) of the room answered understandingly.

Why the uncertainty? Well it have a lot to do with the fact that numerically there was four other person occupying this room, but technically they appears to be the same person. If that makes sense

As for the occupants themselves, they have the shared appearance of a little girl that appears to be ten years old or younger, wearing a matching red dress and vest over pink shirt, topped by a very familiar looking mob cap. Her youthful face was framed by her blond hair, and with a pair of even more familiar looking red eyes. The very much unnatural metallic looking wings with hanging crystals on her back doesn't help things either.

Huh, it seems that he was out of the frying pan and into the fire it seems.

* * *

 **A while later**

The door sliding open to her arrival, the red and border-lining on orange haired Ritsuka made her way into her room after a tiring but otherwise relatively uneventful day of working and others stuffs.

Of course, that doesn't mean that her work is done now, far from it actually.

After all, she still has her promise to play with one particular Flandre Scarlet to fulfill.

Yes, you heard her right: She was going to have a play time with Flandre, the fabled 'younger sister of the Devil'. Others that knew of this happening have both called her crazy and commended her for such audacity of actually trying to build a bond with Flandre despite being a regular human mage with no outstanding trait nor the durability necessary to survive it.

But she didn't care in the slightest bit about it. For if there is any Magi currently living that could do it then it was definitely her, who have made it out breathing in close proxy of a mad Heracles, who still have her innards intact even after the incarnation of ten of thousands of aborted children otherwise known as Jack the Ripper snuck into her bed at night to sleep, who was not overthrown by Spartacus who was infamous for overthrowing anything in the general shape of an oppressor, and many more.

To make it short: Flandre needs someone to build a real connection with except for her sister Remilia and already existing relations, and she was the one more than ready for it. Plus, she ain't breaking that promise nor letting herself be broken anytime soon, the command seal that she always have on hand shows it's uses outside of battle magnificently in this situation.

From there, they could expand on that front and have Flan to try and interact with other various individuals around Chaldea, and maybe finally improve a bit on her conditions.

"Ah! Gudako-nee." was the cheerful greeting of the younger scarlet sibling right off the batch, though Ritsuka couldn't help but feel a bit awkward at the nickname. Seriously, where did she even get that from?

"Hello there Flan, I hope that you didn't have to wait for too long?" she greeted gently as she got down on the eye level of the chibi, she genuinely hoped that Flan didn't came to her room at least a few hours early just to wait for her like last time, the girl was really too enthusiastic when it came to it for her own good.

"Nuh-uh. I was just an hour early this time." she boasted like it really should be a thing to be proud of. "And I even got company too, so no problem." she followed on.

"Flan, talking with clones of yourself is not considered as having company, I told you that." Ritsuka chided lightly in a no-funny-business voice. This was one of the troubles that they were trying to get over, because even if she was no psychologist she knew that talking with yourself is not considered beneficial for anyone's mental health under any way, shape, or form.

"But I didn't, there was ojisan with me already." Flandre countered quickly, though that could be considered better than Flan talking to herself she guess.

Wait, what? When did she introduced Flandre with anyone else anyways, because she doesn't remember doing so.

Then, it was only at this moment that Ritsuka noticed that something was off. Specifically, at the corner of her room.

There, was the black clad and imposing figure of none other than the Berserker Vlad III, but this time without the imposing feel that he usually carries around with him.

Why? Because even without the fact that he was very much looking pretty worse for wear. The king of Romania, was still supporting three other Flandres hanging off on him, one on his neck, one on his right leg, and the final one on his left arm. It was almost amazing that he was even standing actually if one was to ignore the absurdity of the situation.

"W-"

"I... have decided to have a visit with my relatives, this is not anything to worry about nor is it unusual, Master." he explained in a totally even and rational tone of voice.

Okay. But one thing is not as okay with that.

"Wait, you two are relatives?"

The explanation was long. And at the end of it, Ritsuka was torn between laughing or feeling bad for Vlad.

* * *

 **Flandre Scarlet - Berserker**

 **[Basic Stats]:**  
 _Strength:_ A  
 _Endurance:_ A  
 _Agility:_ B  
 _Mana:_ A  
 _Luck:_ C  
 _Noble Phantasm:_ A+

 **[Class Skills]:**  
 **Magic Resistance:** C  
 **Mad Enhancement:** EX

 **[Personal Skills]:  
Destroying absolutely anything and everything:**A+  
 **Cloning:** A  
 **Vampirism:** A+

 **[Noble Phantasms]:**  
 ** _Lævateinn: The fire of the end_**  
 **Rank:** A+ **Type:** Anti-Fortress

 **[Profile]:**  
The younger sister of Remilia Scarlet and a vampire who has lived at the Scarlet Devil Mansion for over 495 years. Flandre is, to all extents and purposes, the hidden away perpetual child locked away inside the Scarlet Devil Mansion's basement. But thanks to the past interference of some certain incident solver to her sister schemes in the Scarlet mist incident, she became entranced by them and has finally made some attempts to try and once again be a part of society. Until said society got literally burned down that is.

 **[Level 1 Bond]:**  
 **Height/Weight:** 130cm ・ 27kg  
 **Source:** Gensokyo's History  
 **Region:** Gensokyo  
 **Alignment:** Chaotic Neutral  
 **Gender:** Female

Rest in comfort that Flandre means well, and merely wishes to play.

 **[Level 2 Bond]:**  
  
 **Destroying absolutely anything and everything:** A+  
An ability eerily similar to the fabled Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, that allows her to destroy absolutely anything anything and everything just as it's namesake. By moving the "eye" of the object, where the tension is highest, and by attacking this eye, she is able to destroy the target. She is able to move the "eye" of anything into the middle of her hand, then she pours her power into it or in other words, she crushes the "eye" and unconditionally destroys the target with just a squeeze.  
An ability that is indiscriminate of whether or not the object is organic or inorganic. Unhindered by the distance that the target made, once she took a hold of your "eye", there is no escape. A terrifying power that is seemingly without any weakness, and absolutely can not be defended against unless by intercepting her altogether.

Or that would be the case, but sadly, this ability holds not as much ground as it should against a Servant. For it does not apply the concept of "Death" onto the target like it's counterpart, but merely destroys it by means of breaking apart the tension points. Because a Servant's Saint Graph is not an actual living body but a container made out of prana, damage such as this would be devastating but not always completely lethal, and completely useless if the Servant decided to use the pause in battle to astralize.

 **[Level 3 Bond]:**

 _ **Lævateinn: The fire of the end**_  
 **Rank:** A+ **Type:** Anti-Fortress  
The sword that will cover the world in flames and reduce all to ashes at the day of Ragnarok. Wielded by the fire giant Surtr, it is currently unknown where and how she gained acess to such a weapon of destructive might, but what is known is that the weapon itself seemed content with its new wielder.  
An existence that is basically a physical Noble Phantasm that once active, will invoke one of the many events of Ragnarok -mainly the incineration of the world- to devastate the enemy. It is not a simple wave of fire, but the manifestation of Ragnarok enforced on this world itself, exposure is deadly, even in it's semi-active state.

 **[Level 4 Bond]:**

 **Vampirism:** A+  
Contrary to common beliefs, Flandre is not part of the infamous Dead Apostles. Instead, her species is that of a Vampire more similar to Dracula, that are beings borned from the beliefs and fear of humanity. This means that her powers and abilities are different to those of a Dead Apostle, including extreme reactions against sunlight, weakness to flowing water and even raindrops, distaste against garlic, ect... Intriguingly enough however, sacred relics and symbols doesn't have any noticeable effects on her.

 **[Level 5 Bond]:**

 **Mad Enhancement:** EX  
In her perspective, there is only two category of things that matters, "playthings" and those that are truly important. But do not get her wrong Flandre Scarlet truly, dearly have most people's well being in her mind, because playthings are important that if they are accidentally broken, even once... Flandre would have one less plaything to play around with.

This is of course the sign of her unique brand of madness, reinforced from her centuries of isolation. Because of it, mutual understanding would only be possible when one has made it into the category of those that are truly important to her. However, for it is not her original state, this madness could possibly be directed, or even work over with permanently.

 **[Extra]:**  
Flandre's personality, once she's interacting with someone beyond mere Playmate level, is a sweet, kind, almost angelic girl that likes to share things, and have fun together. The Master, was the first ever to have been able to achieve this with her for decades.  
Even though with the subject of her madness that is still in the work and her occasional bout of social disorder, Flan is at least showing signs of being more socially active, do that's a plus at least.

* * *

 **A/N**

Heyo!

Indie's here, and back with another chapter of TouhouGO.

As you may see, the finals are over, it have been over for almost a week actually. But I am just publishing this now because when I said I was halting all works, I meant it. So the writing cramps (is that even a thing yet?) got to me real bad, sorry about that. But since it's back now, so be expecting some updates again. Yes!

Also, the A/N is in regular font now. All for quality's sake

Now, onto the reviews that you guys(and gals) have gratiously left behind for me.

rc48177: you mean dah God right? Because that's what he is.

X the Reaper, I'm a Nobody. Who Are You, furukawa023, agustinjesus105, Gallerian, Leah Kazuno, Yoshiki-909, Disciple of Ember, hetjagrr, cooking samurai, Reversus12, KadinaruDess: Thank you all so much for the positive feedbacks and suggestions, so I will do my best okay.

Kamencolin: I PM'd him so don't worry. Also, Okuu can spam nukes as long as she have something to burn.

Derago: Nom!

EliteRenewedMan: See for yourself.

rc48177, Derago, Empty Boundaries, Guest: dii zok wiistel nox wah hi pah (It means thank you in Dovahzul).

For the chapter, this is my own way to interpret the characters and their relations to each other, so it may or may not be accurate. But hey, this is a humour fic anyways, so please refrain from your stones if you have any. Also, you have to admitt that Ritsuka is an absolute boss for being able to talk and befriend with so many people of varying turns of life, I couldn't even make friend with one.

I do not own Touhou or the Fate/series, if that was the case then Apocrypha wouldn't be canon anymore, but it still is so that speaks for itself. Further details are in chapter one.

As stated above, this is a humorous interaction fic, so some difference is expected from strict canon, but still, notify me if I overstepped something.

And finally, if you enjoyed this chapter or story, pretty please leave a Review, Follow and Favorite. Constructive criticisms is highly valuable for improvements but Flames are of course not.

Yours sincerely

The Indominator


End file.
